No one prays for a thing that they fear.  No one prays for something they don't welcome.

 

I used to be afraid of the Holy Spirit.  It may never have been stated directly, but I grew up hearing many implications that those who believed the Spirit was active were teaching “false doctrine.”  I grew to believe that whatever he was, he wasn't a person, and I needed to stay in meticulous control of my theology.  I was determined to be serious about God.

 

I was a missionary in Japan when I became friends with a couple at church who were absurdly cheerful.  They seemed to have no desire to talk about anything but the goodness of God.  When the wife suddenly went blind, and they were both still laughing, I told her husband, “I want what you've got.”

 

Knowing about my theology, he grinned as he whispered, “It's the Spirit.”

 

I remember my wordless thoughts in the next few seconds.  It was more or less, “Oh no!  Do I still want that?  Yeah.  Yeah, I do.”  I then felt a love like I'd never even heard described.

 

It was the first moment of my life that I welcomed all of God.  It started me on a journey of wanting him, rather than information about him; wanting to love him, not merely obey him; wanting to interact with him, rather than just believe he's here.

 

 

My first prayer now is for the manifest presence of God in my life.  I want nothing more.

 

I want to see his face, hear his voice, and be incapable of not responding to his tangible, undeniable presence.

Joy, peace, and hope only come through a relationship with God – all of God.  May you overflow with hope, by the power of the Holy Spirit.

 

Holly L