No one prays for a thing that they fear. No one prays for something they don't welcome.
I used to be afraid of the Holy Spirit. It may never have been stated directly, but I grew up hearing many implications that those who believed the Spirit was active were teaching “false doctrine.” I grew to believe that whatever he was, he wasn't a person, and I needed to stay in meticulous control of my theology. I was determined to be serious about God.
I was a missionary in
Knowing about my theology, he grinned as he whispered, “It's the Spirit.”
I remember my wordless thoughts in the next few seconds. It was more or less, “Oh no! Do I still want that? Yeah. Yeah, I do.” I then felt a love like I'd never even heard described.
It was the first moment of my life that I welcomed all of God. It started me on a journey of wanting him, rather than information about him; wanting to love him, not merely obey him; wanting to interact with him, rather than just believe he's here.
My first prayer now is for the manifest presence of God in my life. I want nothing more.
I want to see his face, hear his voice, and be incapable of not responding to his tangible, undeniable presence.
Joy, peace, and hope only come through a relationship with God – all of God. May you overflow with hope, by the power of the Holy Spirit.